As I notice my surroundings today, I cannot help but reflect on exactly what it is to be an addict. When I was growing up, I used to know a couple of alcoholics. I would see them on a fairly regular basis. I would see these guys sitting in the Static area all day long, day after day, waiting for their next chance to get their hands on another drink. These fellas seemed to care nothing for their hygiene, their families or themselves. I was very young, but could still see that another drink was all they seemed to care about. I was taught to steer clear of those guys as best as possible. I was told that if they could get a dollar from me then they would hound me to death for another.

Now, in modern times I know there are active alcoholics around, but I don’t see them on any kind of a regular basis. I don’t hear about them very often, yet, I can relate to their situation. I am an addict, and addicts have many of the same characteristics as alcoholics. In today’s society. I have to think drug addiction far outweighs alcoholism. As I said I don’t often see an actively drinking alcoholic, but I see addicts everywhere. I see them in grocery stores, restaurants, schools, churches, and health care fields, legal fields, on the streets and in private home settings. There are addicts in almost every aspect of human living today.

All of us either know active using addicts at work, in our neighborhoods or in our homes. We have all very likely had to deal with addiction on some level. We know friends or have family members who have struggled or are struggling with addiction, either directly or indirectly. Most of us have known someone who has died from their drug addiction. It’s so wide spread its actually heartbreaking.

To those of you who have lost friends or loved ones to addiction, I am forever sorry for your loss. I’m sorry you couldn’t save them. I know you likely tried because I know most of you are caring, loving human beings. Most of you want to see your friends and loved ones live long, happy and healthy lives. So yes, of course, I’m sorry for your losses. I can relate to all sides of drug addiction, really. I have close friends and family who struggle with this. I have lost friends who I cared for to drug addiction. And yes, I am a living breathing addict myself.

It’s hard to watch children with their families and friends or at public events while playing and having fun, without realizing that some of those very children will fall into addiction. Some of them will go to prison and yes some will even die due to devastating effects of addiction. Some of them will never grow up to become parents and some of them will watch as addiction will destroy their parents and siblings, and friends.

Being an addict is a hard life and becoming clean, if you are lucky and blessed enough to do so, is even harder. To be 100 percent honest, I don’t know if I can fight off some of these cravings I have, even long enough to finish writing this article. Addiction is that powerful, that intense,

Constantly! I feel great being where I am today in this addiction. I haven’t used today, in fact I haven’t used since November of 2016, but I’ve been here before, a few different times. I’ve stayed clean for longer periods of time than this. So, I cannot in all honesty say what tomorrow may bring. I don’t have the slightest clue! I hope it brings me even more peace than today. I pray and humbly beg Christ to carry me through another day like He has so far. But in the end, I’m not at all sure what tomorrow holds. I may not even be alive tomorrow. Christ has taught me to not give tomorrow much thought because tomorrow will take care of tomorrow. So, I work on today, every day, one day at a time. That’s all I’ve got!

Christ has giving me this new life but it takes constant work. It’s very enjoyable for the most part because after 45 years I finally know He has me working His will in my life. Just as it has been His will that I have made it through today. I know His plan is far greater than any plan that I ever had for myself. I pray that all you addicts and non-addicts alike find peace and calm through the strength of Jesus Christ because He is THAT STRONG!

An addict, a child of God, a Christian,

Phillip Lee