My life has been forever changed, because of my past decisions to use drugs. There are things I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life as a result of how severe my addiction became.

I haven’t been able to write a story for the last couple of weeks. My health doesn’t always allow me to do the things I want or need to do any longer. I do have great days most of the time, but I am not living in any part of some crazy illusion. I know I snorted, ate or smoked my way into most of the issues I have today. Take my sinuses. I have had to have surgery on them twice in the past. Both times were due to meth use.

Both sides of my sinuses have had to be altered in the past because I chose to snort or smoke meth. It’s been several years since I used meth on any kind of regular basis. Most of my drug use of the last 13 years has been dealing with my addiction to opiates and benzodiazepines. Still my addiction to the first drug I became addicted to, methamphetamine, has been an issue from day one.

Today, I have to rinse my sinuses and throat with certain medications, just to be able to breathe throughout the day. I wake up about every hour through the night because of my sinus and breathing issues. I have to go back to the surgeons in a few weeks, to see if I need surgery on my throat or sinuses again. If so, this will make three times, all due to my drug addiction…

In the past, I would have kept so many narcotics running through my body that more than likely I wouldn’t have even noticed my breathing, my sinuses or my throat issues. That would be one way out now. You know, get high, stay high and push those issues to the side but that’s no way of life. No way, at all!!!

With these current issues I do have to deal with, I may not always feel 100 percent great 24/7, but I am able and willing to deal with things properly today. I may have to take a few days to deal with health issues which have risen from my drug use, but dealing with these things is so much better than hiding behind more and more highs and blackouts.

If I honestly knew back in the day that all this was going to happen to me, I believe I would have made wiser decisions. The health issues, the legal consequences, the destructive behavior? None of it would have ever existed had I not started using the drugs I did.

Going through all I do, dealing with all I do deal with, and trying to confront my demons in addiction. It’s all hard. And it is work. But if my experience can help others by showing them what it can and will happen, should you start using and getting high, then is all worthwhile. Yes, I would like to take many things back and make it as if it never even happened, but that’s not possible, so I chose to move forward, through the perfect grace of Christ.

In an attempt to tell my story, I hope toeducate those who don’t have a clue as to the consequences of choosing to use and get high.

Through Christ, I do find peace. I do find freedom. And I see His miracles in the lives of so many. In me, I believe it’s one of His great miracles that I’m even here, alive and able to tell a story in the first place.

I hope each of you have a perfect week. I hope those of you who do have to deal with your addiction or someone else’s addiction will turn it completely over to Christ. In doing this in my own life, and even though I still make mistakes, I do see where He helps me everyday. And He has helped me to stay clean throughout my recovery.

An addict, a child of God, a Christian,

Phillip Lee