Bet you’re really worried about your children and their welfare while you’re popping that vein aren’t you? Bet your heart is just absolutely filled with so much love for your children that’s it’s exploding with joy while you’re packing your nose, huh? Just exactly how proud are you of the fact that your children are going to lay their heads down tonight wherever it is that they are going to sleep because you can’t care for them. I mean I know you are going to be way too busy scheming, begging, plotting, dealing, stealing or conning from everyone you can because your only real concern is making sure you have your next fix. I mean that is really all that truly matters to you isn’t it?

Oh, you can claim to be doing the best you can. You can claim that the cards have been stacked against you. You can claim that you simply got a raw deal in life. You can lay claim to a million reasons why, for every circumstance out there. But the real truth is that you just can’t accept the fact that this addiction you are in is all on you. I can’t tell you how your addiction started but I can tell you who is solely responsible for feeding it.

I know, I know! You’re bad to the bone. You’re tough as nails. I know you don’t care what people think about you on how you live. Well, your children aren’t bad. They aren’t tough and they do care what people think of mommy and daddy. In fact they love you so much that they get upset at the very notion that someone has something negative to say about anything you do or what you’re about. Can you really blame them? After all you were the ones who created them. I wish it was that simple, really I do. But you and I both know that it isn’t. You know that your children are hurting and are all confused by what you do and how you choose to live.

How many times have you thought, well at least they are better off where they are than with you because you aren’t able to stop filling your veins or packing your nose? Truth is you don’t care enough to stop. It’s not that you can’t and I don’t really care how far your addiction has progressed over time.

Honestly that’s just a crap excuse and deep down you know it. The real reason you have even considered convincing yourself that your children are better off where they are instead of you getting your life together so you can be the one taking care of them as you should, is because you have no real desire to change and start recovering from your addiction. And that excuse comforts you just enough to make you feel like you are doing the right thing by allowing others to care for and raise your children, instead of picking up your cross and carrying it as you learn to live drug free as you should.

You are really a super selfish person…Believe that!!! Because all of that allows you to keep doing what is really the most important thing to you and that my friends is feed your addiction. I mean you couldn’t see raising your children through. You sure couldn’t see going through life without trying drugs through. Heck you can’t even see a promise through. But come hell or high water you are going to see your addiction is fed, huh?

Does this irritate you? Does it make you extremely mad, causing you to just pretend you didn’t read this? Thinking the whole time, you will just ignore it all. Then do what you got to do. I mean, really it won’t be any different than anything you being doing, which is ignoring the real problem. I don’t mean to make you feel like less of a person because you won’t put the needle, straw or pipe down. And, it’s not that you can’t. It’s that you won’t. That’s it. Period! I hope you get so mad at what is said in this article that you actually do something about it. Whatever it takes to open your eyes and start really fighting your addiction is what I am trying to do.

Bet you had a great time making those children didn’t you? You’re tough? You’re bad? For real? Seriously? If you want to really be tough, then begin by choosing to be different. Chose to be rare and fight your addiction. You do that to the fullest and yes, you will finally be tough. You will at last be bad. Because you will be free. And your children will in return have mommy and daddy to look up to once again instead of looking down at them feeling sorry for you and ashamed of you at the same time. You can then watch them truly enjoying life, you know just the way you enjoyed making them in the first place.

Now, you can choose to ignore my challenge to you to straighten your life up and become right with your addiction, your children and all those who truly care for you, or you can pop that vein, pack that nose or hit that pipe and smile because you know that no matter how bad or how tough you claim to be, you are not even going to try to quit being selfish.

Quite simply because you don’t have the GUTS! I’ve been where you are, I’ve lived that life and I’d still rather be dead than to ever go back. Trust me; the longer you keep breaking weak, by feeding your addiction, the tougher it’s going to be to break away.

An addict, a child of God, a Christian,

Phillip Lee