Sitting here today and I started reflecting on my whole life, really. You know, while drugs played the most important role in my life for so long, it wasn’t the only major factor that resulted in the person I became then and especially the MAN I am today.

You see I could sit and blame my whole rap sheet of violations and crimes against the people of our great country on everything from Crystal meth, to xanax, to methadone or oxys. Could even blame it on a little cocaine from time to time.

Or maybe I could blame it on a rigged system designed just to tear me down completely. Or could perhaps blame it on my friends and loved ones who never really got me or understood me causing me to feel isolated and alone, even in a crowded room of true loved ones and friends.

But the truth is, it was me. It was and still is all on me. Every law I broke, every right I violated and abused. Every reaction from myself for any reason whatsoever was all on me….

You want the real truth of why I even got on drugs? Why I ever did anything negative in life that I did? Here it is… BECAUSE ( I ) CHOSE TO. There it is.

Every single thing that I ever did. Everything I took for granted. Every one I ever used. Ever single thing I ever did in life comes down to something really that simple. (I chose it). Was never forced! Doesn’t matter what it was, from cursing my parents thinking I wished they’d just die when I was a teen and could get what I wanted; to rolling up that first $20 dollar bill and snorting my very first line of meth, to getting so high, so often that I was no longer able or even conscience of my actions or the world around me.

So, here I am sitting here, knowing that God has allowed me to endure all that I put myself through in life to be here at this moment and proclaim that I am a good person. I’m a good man, and I am very proud to say it is Christ who delivered me to this moment in life.

I sit here today writing this to tell you that if you want to truly change your behaviors and actions in life you must do as I and so many others in the world are learning to do. You must change the human from within yourself in order to change your future actions for the better. For the GREATER!!!!

An addict, a child of God, a Christian,

Phillip Lee